I think I have a kid.
Dean and Lisa had their fling in August 1998. Ben was born May 1999. 9 months later. 9.
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BIKER’S KID MY ASS
I love how he just quietly counts and then freaks the fuck out
mom? yeah hey its me. i just called to—what? yeah i’m doing fine thanks. listen i was playing call of duty and this kid said some really shocking things about you and i just had to confirm that they weren’t true
Why do adults think “So what’s your major? Oh, and what are you going to do with that?” is acceptable small talk
What am I going to do with my degree? Hang it on the wall and cry, probably
if I had a nickel for every time I stubbed my toe I would be the most angry and hurt millionaire in history
so is anyone secretly in love with me yet
sext: i howl into the void and you answer